Thriving As Long As Socialising Is Optional
I'm not here to fix you, because you aren't broken. It's OK to feel lost, stuck, different or like an alien who has landed on a different planet where everyone else is speaking a language that you don't.
I spent 39 years walking around knowing I felt different, but never knowing why or what was behind my way of viewing the world. I knew I was anxious, quirky, obstinate as some said, talked too much and couldn't seem to hold on to friends without being frankly exhausted from the effort of it.
You may not know what exactly or why you are coming to coaching, perhaps you feel stuck, or just want to chat with someone who "gets you". Maybe you are trying to improve parts of your life but you don't know where to start or what tools could help to support you. That's where I can help.
I work online only with English-speaking clients anywhere in the world, I offer sessions where you can talk and think in a non-judgemental space.
I specialise in coaching for self acceptance and happiness. My work includes helping newly identified autistic folk work out what that means, working with autistic parents and the joy and struggles that this entails, those discovering where masking ends and you begin, and how to live your life in a way that is affirming and authentic to who you are.
I offer a free discovery call. If you would like to avail of one, please fill in the form below. You are welcome to have the camera turned off, stim, fidget, info-dump, take notes, ask for clarification or whatever you need to feel more comfortable.
My name is Elaine, you have probably gathered that. For over a decade I worked with autistic young adults never considering that I myself could ever be autistic.
I had checked all the boxes a "typical" person would along the way in my life, from early childhood to adulthood. I went to school, made some friends, went to university, got married, bought a house, got a dog and had a child. Tick, tick, tick on those, but something never felt natural about any of my life stages. In fact, not one of these things came easy or natural to me. There was always a little girl who was peddling really fast under the surface, just to keep myself from drowning.
After years of burnouts, anxiety, depression, rejection sensitivity, rumination amongst other things, I began to see each stage of my life for what it was. Masked autism. During the process of my own child being assessed, like for many I was checking off every box for myself. My life and ways of being finally made sense! How did I spend 39 years undiagnosed? Well first of all I could with effort "fit in" or learn to go unnoticed. I observed my peers, figured out that my stims were not something to do, so I sat on my hands in class to stop myself. I learned to keep my excitement and intense knowledge of subjects to myself. As I got older, I learned to regulate and hum out the external noises from busy environments in my head. It only takes one child to make you feel odd to stop that. It is quite amazing how adept I was as an undiagnosed child in analysing all the information I was presented with and learning this is not "normal" so don't do it.
But this effort of masking, blending and fawning began to take its toll until finally I could no longer cope just pushing through the exhaustion, overwhelm and the impact it was having on my nervous system. I went through the process of identification and received my formal diagnosis in April 2024.
I wasn't just awkward, quirky, too sensitive, weird, rude, know it all..PLOT TWIST.. I was autistic.
Personal Styling-Wardrobe Weed Online
Using Body-Doubling I will work with you to go through you thoughts about your current style, sensory needs when it comes to clothing and how you can maximise your wardrobe, organise it and find comfortable ways to shop confidently online.
To learn more about this service why not contact me via:
email : elaineolearycoaching@gmail.com
Discovery Call
Discovery Call- Free 30 minute chat online via Teams/Zoom/Google Meet. Bitesize info about who I am as a coach, why you might want to be coached by me and any other coaching questions you may have. For more information contact me via email below.
Email : elaineolearycoaching@gmail.com
30 minute Online Coaching
30 minute online 1:1 coaching session to explore your autistic identity and chat with a coach who gets it. No pressure just a safe space. I can offer online video calls via Zoom, Teams or Google Meet. Alternatively we can go to typed conversation via email if this would be more comfortable. To book or for more information you can contact me via:
Email : elaineolearycoaching@gmail.com
1 hr Online Coaching
This is a 1 hr session online, which is 1:1 with me as your coach. We can discuss anything you have on your mind regarding your thoughts about being autistic, work, relationship building, empowerment, unmasking or any other thing you would like to work on. To book or for more information you can contact me via:
Email : elaineolearycoaching@gmail.com
Booking, Pricing & Payment Options:
Booking calls
Calls are booked in via email. If you let me know when you are ready I'll email my availability for you to choose.
Some people like the same time every week, others like to book in when they have the energy or processing time. Calls can be 30minutes or 60 minutes duration. I'm here to meet your needs.
Discovery Call Online- Free no charge
30 Minutes Coaching Online- €30/ £26.00
60 Minutes Coaching Online- €50/£43.50
Package offer 10x 1 hour sessions - €450 / £397
1 Hour 30 minutes- Personal Styling Wardrobe Weed Online - €150/ £132
Payment
Payment can be made via PayPal, apps such as Revolut or bank transfer. Sessions can be cancelled up to 24 hours' notice with no charge, after that the full fee is payable.
Contact me today, to chat more about a free discovery call: www.elaineoleary.info/ elaineolearycoaching@gmail.com
Understanding Your Unique Perspective As An Autistic Parent
As an autistic parent you bring a distinct perspective to parenting. Your experiences shape how you interact with your child and the world around you. Understanding this unique viewpoint is essential. Your sensory sensitivities, communication style, and thought processes can influence your parenting approach. For instance, you might find certain environments overwhelming, which can affect family outings.
Recognizing these aspects of yourself can help you create a nurturing environment for your child. Building a Support NetworkOne of the most important steps in your parenting journey is building a support network. Surrounding yourself with understanding friends, family, and fellow parents can make a significant difference. Consider joining local or online groups for autistic parents. These communities can provide a safe space to share experiences, seek advice, and find encouragement. Here are some ways to build your support network:Connect with other parents: Look for local meetups or online forums where you can share your experiences and learn from others.Seek professional support: Therapists or counselors who specialize in autism can offer valuable insights and coping strategies.Engage with your child’s school: Building relationships with teachers and staff can help create a supportive environment for your child.
Embracing Your Parenting Style.
Every parent has their own style, and as an autistic parent, yours may be different from the norm. Embrace your unique approach. For example, you might prefer structured routines, which can provide stability for both you and your child. Establishing a daily schedule can help your child feel secure and understand what to expect. Here are some tips for embracing your parenting style:Create a visual schedule: Use pictures or charts to outline daily activities. This can help your child understand the routine and feel more comfortable.Incorporate your interests: Share your passions with your child. Whether it’s art, music, or nature, involving them in your interests can strengthen your bond.Be open about your needs: Communicate with your child about your sensory sensitivities or communication preferences. This can foster understanding and empathy.
Navigating Sensory Challenges
Sensory challenges are common among autistic individuals. As a parent, you may face situations that can be overwhelming. It’s essential to develop strategies to manage these challenges. For instance, if you find crowded places stressful, consider visiting during quieter times or using noise-canceling headphones. Here are some practical tips for navigating sensory challenges:Create a sensory-friendly home: Designate a quiet space where you and your child can retreat when feeling overwhelmed. Use calming techniques: Explore deep breathing exercises, fidget toys, or weighted blankets to help manage anxiety.Plan outings carefully: Choose activities that align with your sensory preferences. If you enjoy nature, consider family hikes or visits to parks.
Communicating Effectively
Communication is key in any relationship, especially between you and your child. As an autistic parent, you may have a different communication style. It’s important to find ways to connect with your child that feel comfortable for both of you. This might involve using visual aids, gestures, or even technology to enhance understanding. Here are some strategies for effective communication:Use clear language: Keep your instructions simple and direct. Avoid using idioms or phrases that may be confusing.Encourage expression: Create an environment where your child feels safe expressing their thoughts and feelings. This can help strengthen your bond.Practice active listening: Show your child that you value their input by listening attentively and responding thoughtfully. Celebrating Your AchievementsAs an autistic parent, it’s essential to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Parenting is a challenging role, and recognizing your successes can boost your confidence. Take time to reflect on your journey. Acknowledge the moments when you handled a difficult situation well or when you connected with your child in a meaningful way. Here are some ways to celebrate your achievements:Keep a journal: Write down your successes and challenges. This can help you track your growth and reflect on your journey.Share with your support network: Celebrate milestones with friends or family who understand your journey. Their encouragement can be uplifting.Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that parenting is a learning process, and it’s okay to make mistakes.
Finding Balance
Balancing your needs as an autistic individual with your responsibilities as a parent can be challenging. It’s crucial to prioritize self-care and find time for yourself. Consider setting aside moments each day for activities that recharge you. Whether it’s reading, meditating, or engaging in a hobby, taking time for yourself can enhance your overall well-being.
Here are some tips for finding balance:Schedule “me time”: Block out time in your calendar for self-care activities. Treat this time as a priority.Involve your child: Find activities you can enjoy together that also allow you to recharge. This could be a quiet art project or a nature walk. Ask for help: Don’t hesitate to reach out to your support network when you need a break. It’s okay to seek assistance.
Encouraging Your Child’s Growth
As an autistic parent, you have a unique opportunity to encourage your child’s growth and development. Your experiences can provide valuable lessons for them. Focus on fostering their strengths and interests. Encourage them to explore their passions and support their individuality.
Here are some ways to encourage your child’s growth:
Promote independence: Teach your child skills that promote independence, such as cooking or managing their time.
Celebrate their uniqueness: Help your child embrace their individuality. Encourage them to express themselves through art, music, or other creative outlets.
Be a role model: Show your child how to navigate challenges with resilience. Your example can inspire them to face their own obstacles.
Embracing the Journey Together
Parenting is a journey that evolves over time. As an autistic parent, embracing your unique path can lead to a fulfilling experience for both you and your child.
Remember that you are not alone. Many parents share similar experiences and challenges. By connecting with others and celebrating your individuality, you can create a nurturing environment for your family. As you navigate this journey, keep in mind that every step you take is a part of your story. Embrace the highs and lows, and cherish the moments that make your journey special. A parent and child enjoying a sunny day together in a park. Your journey as an autistic parent is a testament to your strength and resilience. Embrace your unique perspective, build a supportive network, and celebrate your achievements. By doing so, you can create a loving and nurturing environment for your child, allowing both of you to thrive. Remember, every journey is unique, and yours is worth celebrating.
If this blog resonates with you as a parent and would like to book a call or more info email:elaineolearycoaching@gmail.com
Ten Myths About Coming for Coaching (for Autistic Clients)
Coaching is only for people who need to be fixed.
Truth: Coaching isn’t about “fixing” autism — it’s about supporting you to work with your strengths, challenges, and goals on your own terms.
A coach will tell me what to do.
Truth: A good coach partners with you — they ask questions, explore ideas, and help you make choices that feel right for you.
I need to mask or act a certain way in coaching.
Truth: You can show up exactly as you are — no masking, no performance. A neuroaffirming coach welcomes your natural communication and processing style.
Coaching is just like therapy.
Truth: Coaching focuses on your present and future — what you want to do next, what support you need, and how to move forward confidently.
I should already know my goals before starting.
Truth: You don’t have to know what you want yet. Many clients come to coaching to figure that out together — one step at a time.
Coaching means I’ll have to change who I am.
Truth: Coaching celebrates authenticity. The aim is to make life work better for you, not to make you someone else.
The coach won’t understand autism.
Truth: Many coaches are trained in, or personally experienced with, neurodivergence. A neuroaffirming coach will listen, learn, and adapt their approach to your needs.
It’ll be too overwhelming.
Truth: Sessions can be structured around your communication style — with clear plans, written summaries, or sensory-friendly breaks if needed.
It’s only for people in business or leadership roles.
Truth: Coaching can support any goal — from managing burnout, planning transitions, or building confidence, to simply finding more balance.
If I can’t keep up, I’ll be judged.
Truth: Coaching is non-judgmental and goes at your pace. It’s about understanding what works best for your brain, not measuring you against others.
Coaching with Elaine O’ Leary – www.elaineolearycoaching.com
Why Many Autistic Females Remain Undiagnosed and How to Change That
Embracing Your Unique Journey as an Autistic Parent
